


My Heart Without a Beat

by fraclesnack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dan Howell - Freeform, Depression, Drabble, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 16:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraclesnack/pseuds/fraclesnack
Summary: He knew he'd gone crazy when he started to dream about killing himself.





	My Heart Without a Beat

He knew he'd gone crazy when he started to dream about killing himself. He puts on a fake smile to hide is pain from his friends, doing so to not worry them however the pain is becoming unbearable.  
There Dan sat in the chair in the corner of the room, dominated by a profound sadness, fatigue engraved on his worn face. No longer was there a sense of inquisitiveness, desire or fire in his chocolate coloured eyes. All that remained was the deceiving hollow soul reflected in the tear-stained glass, leaving no room for him to see the reflection his true self anymore. Now he just just a shell of a man he once was.  
The sorrow that Dan held within grew fiercer every year he spent in his quiet, lonely, London apartment, the solemn walls reviving the memory of the loss that he had encountered in what now feels like a previous life.  
Dan found his bed to be cold and lonely, missing the muscular arms that was once wrapped around him, keeping him warm and safe and the smell that would engulf him that was just so distinctively Phil.  
***  
Once there had been a boy, with raven hair and icy blue eyes, we interlocked hearts as much as our fingers. He drew me in with a sweetness that I had never found in anyone else before, something so strong that I could feel even when we were apart.  
I could write a million messages, million letters, each one the same as the last in sentiment and measure. They would stay the same with only the word arrangement differing. It all boils down to one thing; I miss him. I miss Phil. He should be here, life is so unfair. No one really knows if that is selfish or not to miss someone who has passed and even if it is, to hell with the rest of the world and everyone else and their opinions. Phil should be here, I miss him. His beautiful blue eyes, lanky frame, and kind and tortured soul. My heart is missing an integral piece, a part that keeps it from working correctly. I don’t think I will ever let go.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my very first phanfiction, sorry if its a bit short :)


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